Today I felt, for the first time since I got here 11 and a half months ago, that I'd had enough of being a foreigner. I'm tired of every conversation being either an effort of one kind or another (a choice between the pain of speaking error-ridden and inelegant German and the pain of listening to a similar form of English) or being prey to the fickle whims of the Skype gods, who seem to control the bandwidth I'm allowed to enjoy with the jealous meanness of someone handing out tiny slivers of expensive cheese at the market. Enough to get the taste buds going but not so much that you take advantage and really start enjoying yourself.
Yes, it's true. I'm feeling in need of a break. The small slivers of hugely enjoyable English-speaker-based fun I've had over the past six months or so have only served to sharpen the need to sit and talk with a group of pals in a medium in which I'm not totally lost the minute I stop concentrating, or anyone dares to express themselves in a novel or, heaven forfend, regionally-specific way. My inability to understand anything outlandish, local or lyrical leaves me with only the workhorse parts of language which get the message across. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful to be able to say "Having forgotten, once again, to take the bins out, our landlady is now threatening to kick us out" or "did anyone remember to buy toothpaste, or shall I pick some up while I'm here?" without having to grope around for the basics, and to be able to laugh along with the jokes of the humourously-challenged folk at work (unexpressive and slow-witted people make the best of friends for a language learner!) But to be able really to let loose and just talk about something and listen with pleasure and without a constant worry that it's about to get too complicated or interesting to understand, would be a wonderful thing.
This is why it's such good timing that I'm planning a proper trip back to the UK in September. Not just a quick nip over to enjoy the Cheddar and be appalled by the Ryanair, but a proper few weeks of drinking chalky water and playing Scrabble with those who mean the most to me.
You know who you are.
Rob
Ah, the sufferings of young Robert. Man, I feel your pain...! I've been there! I found struggling to translate my kind of humour into German a most soul-destroying aspect of wading through the language-learning swamp! What is the point of having a highly developed nose for nuance when you just don't have all the tools at your beck and call! You simply haven't been back to Blighty for a long enough break, this is clear... make sure when you come over you try and use EVERY WORD you know in English at least once, including all those long altmodische ones, and by the time you go back you'll be mentally capitalising all your Nouns and looking forward gleefully in crazy word order yourself to express.
ReplyDeleteJoys! See you soon Schatz!
Hx